2024 wasn't a good year for Valerie Bertinelli. In fact, according to the actor and former Food Network star, it was one of her worst.
"I had four surgeries, I was going through emotional turmoil with some people in my life," Bertinelli tells TODAY.com during a sit-down interview.
Yet, despite being difficult, she says it was exactly what she needed to hit the reset button. That period of reflection and renewal prompted her latest book, "Getting Naked: The Quiet Work of Becoming Perfectly Imperfect," part memoir, part self-help guide.
"I wanted it to be a little book people could tuck in their purse and bring out for inspiration," she says of the book's initial premise.
"Then I thought, well, if I'm going to tell people how to love themselves, I better start loving myself, too," explains Bertinelli.
"I thought I was there and I just realized, after my worst year in 2024, that I think I have more work to do. So, I really got into intensive work and really worked hard to get down deep to the trauma, so I could finally make peace with it."
Part of that trauma is the sexual abuse Bertinelli writes about in "Getting Naked," explaining that it occurred when she was 11, and that the experience was "the wound that started it all."
"It doesn't matter who, when, or how it happened," she writes in the memoir, saying that what does matter is the lasting impact it had on her, which helped shape her beliefs about herself and, ultimately, left her feeling 'unlovable.'
"No one knew the secret I kept, or how it wove through my marriages and divorces, my body dysmorphia, my decades of dieting, weight gain and loss, buried emotions, my impostor syndrome," writes Bertinelli in "Getting Naked."
When asked if revealing something so deeply personal was difficult, Bertinelli says it took her a while to come to terms with including the revelation in her book.
"I thought if people are going to trust me with what I've been through, I need to be brutally honest about it. So, I got to a point where, listen, if it hurts me by saying this or if it helps somebody else by saying this, that's the bigger issue," she says.
"I want to help somebody and, realizing now since it's been out, all the DMs I'm getting about people feeling so seen and need other people to talk about this so that they don't feel so alone. It's been really fulfilling."
The Woman in the Mirror: ‘I Don’t Care! I Look Good!'
Bertinelli first rose to fame as Barbara Cooper in the hit '70s show, "One Day at a Time," a sitcom about a single mother, Anne Romano (Bonnie Franklin), raising two teen daughters, Barbara and Julie (MacKenzie Phillips).
The sudden fame and constant scrutiny over her looks led to Bertinelli's complicated relationship with her weight.
“I remember my fifth grade teacher patted me on the belly and said, ‘You might want to keep an eye on that,’" she recalls in a 2020 interview with People. “That was the first time I became really aware of my body.”
Since then, Bertinelli has struggled with her self image, both privately and publicly, going on a series of diets, participating in various weight-loss programs and even served as a Jenny Craig spokesperson for six years, appearing in commercials and displaying her bikini-clad body on the cover of People in 2009.
But now, at 65, she's officially over it, choosing to focus on the things in life that bring her joy rather than spend any more time worrying about her appearance.
"I'm about 20 pounds heavier than when I was on the cover of People in a bikini. If you would ask me if I was going to get 20 pounds heavier back then, I would have been horrified," says Bertinelli.
"Now, I'm like, 'I don't care! I look good! Who the f--k cares? Yes, I've got flappy arms, but I'm also 65, and I'm alive, and I'm a good, caring person, and I like my character, and I like the way I treat my family and my girlfriends, and I like the way that they treat me. And I love being surrounded by my animals, who love me unconditionally, and my family that loves me unconditionally," she explains.
"I have so much love and joy in my life that if I'm going to focus on how I think, physically, I look, what does that bring me? It brings me nothing but grief and it focuses on the wrong part of what we are as human beings. Like, who are we? How do we treat people? Are we kind?"
With that mindset, Bertinelli says it's much easier to be happy.
"Now, when I look at myself in the mirror or I see photographs, it's like, 'Who cares?' I'm smiling. I'm full of joy because life is beautiful. Even when it sucks, you always find pockets of joy."
So, rather than worry about her appearance, Bertinelli says she, instead, practices finding gratitude.
"Everything is a wonder to me. Life is a wonder. A sunset, a sunrise are just a wonder to me," she says. "I'm one of those people that stops when I see the moon, no matter what phase it's in, because I think that it's beautiful and I think the world is beautiful."
'Even in the Worst Year of My Life, I Had so Much Joy'
Even in the hardest of times, including 2024, Bertinelli says there were still plenty of things to be grateful for, including her 34-year-old son, Wolfgang Van Halen, her only child with ex-husband, guitarist, Eddie Van Halen, who died of a stroke in 2020 after a decades-long battle with cancer.
"If I wanted to focus on it, I could just say sh---y things are happening and I'm just going to feel like s--t. But I had these beautiful pockets of joy. I got to start the year sitting in the studio watching Wolfie create his art. I got to go on the road and watch him," she says.
Bertinelli also landed a recurring job on The Drew Barrymore Show, fulfilling a lifetime dream of living and working in New York City, which she commutes to from her Studio City, California, home, every other week.
"So even in the worst year of my life, I had so much joy. So, you can focus on that, and that is the key, I think, to life: focusing on the gratitude and the things you're grateful for."
In addition to her latest book, Bertinelli also recently launched Valerie's Place, a new subscription-based website that includes cooking shows, a podcast and other interactive experiences for fans. The "Hot in Cleveland" actor is also returning to the small screen in "Love, Again," a new Lifetime movie slated to be released later this spring.
With so much on her plate, Bertinelli says she still has unfinished business to tackle.
"I want everyone to feel strong and love themselves," says Bertinelli. "I just want to see the world a better place. I want to see the world full of people loving themselves more because that's how you spread that. There's a reason there's trolls out there because they're miserable in their lives and I don't want those people to be miserable."
A frequent target of "rude and awful" comments on social media, Bertinelli says that instead of feeling upset by them, she sympathizes with the people who target her.
"The first place I go is how sad that they need somebody to feel safe to lash out on," she explains, saying that if there were less vitriol in the world, it would be a much more beautiful place for everyone.
"I know I sound 'woo-woo' and rainbows and unicorns, but we can have joy in terrible times."
